pew.: Archive

3 tags

asked my girlfriend to give me a wake-up call tomorrow morning for our site analysis trip Her: I’ll wake you up at 8.30? Me: The bus leaves at 8.30. Her: Okay then, I’ll call you at 6. Me: WHAT

Nov 30th

1 tag

ayva replied to your post: jfc i woke up and thought i was home alone so i… lol same thing always happens to my sister and me in the mornings it was the worst thing ever im going to lug a bat with me everytime i need to use the bathroom

Nov 30th

30 notes

Nov 30th

7,227 notes

1 tag

Nov 29th

6,131 notes

Nov 29th

1,780 notes

Nov 29th

937 notes

Nov 29th

192 notes

nuggits2: i have sexdaily wait i mean dyslexia

Nov 29th

2,013 notes

Nov 29th

4,780 notes

Nov 29th

25,521 notes

Nov 29th

140 notes

Nov 29th

9,041 notes

1 tag

Nov 29th

jfc i woke up and thought i was home alone so i grabbed my towel and headed to the shower until i hear fucking rumbling in the house i turn to see a hulking man running towards me i start fucking screaming and its my dad in his underwear trying to beat me to the toilet because he needs to take a dump JFC

Nov 29th

826 notes

Nov 29th

964 notes

ticklemefirecrotch: friends are like sex i have none

Nov 29th

173 notes

Nov 29th

20,834 notes

1 tag

Nov 29th

15,014 notes

shoulderblades: JUST CALL ME DADDY

Nov 29th

293 notes

1 tag

im watching The Prestige my feelings for this movie

Nov 29th

listening to pokemon red/blue songs tearing up from the nostalgia

Nov 29th

8,207 notes

Nov 29th

8,020 notes

Nov 29th

12,586 notes

tr3cool: would you like some gif with that watermark

Nov 29th

80 notes

Nov 28th

61,507 notes

Nov 28th

1 tag

patient: C'mon Doc, give it to me straight...
doctor: Well, the tests have come back and...
patient: WHAT IS IT DOC TELL ME GODDAMN IT!
doctor: You're down with the sickness
patient: Ooh-ah-ah-ah-ah

Nov 28th

1,719 notes

Nov 28th

22,631 notes

Nov 28th

54,450 notes

galvatron: Never buy hamsters from Petsmart because you will think you are getting two boys when you are actually getting a boy and a girl. And eventually the girl will get pregnant. And you will think she is dying. But she won’t die, and one day you’ll wake up to little baby hamsters all over your cage. And one day you’ll come home from middle school and find her eating all of her babies and...

Nov 28th

1,366 notes

my thoughts during school: lol penis lol

my thoughts when im trying to go the fuck to sleep: the purpose of life is not to be happy . it is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well

Nov 28th

48,673 notes

maddypotato: Skyrim sounds like some sort of sexual act performed in an airplane bathroom

Nov 28th

146 notes