asked my girlfriend to give me a wake-up call tomorrow morning for our site analysis trip Her: I’ll wake you up at 8.30? Me: The bus leaves at 8.30. Her: Okay then, I’ll call you at 6. Me: WHAT
ayva replied to your post: jfc i woke up and thought i was home alone so i… lol same thing always happens to my sister and me in the mornings it was the worst thing ever im going to lug a bat with me everytime i need to use the bathroom
nuggits2: i have sexdaily wait i mean dyslexia
jfc i woke up and thought i was home alone so i grabbed my towel and headed to the shower until i hear fucking rumbling in the house i turn to see a hulking man running towards me i start fucking screaming and its my dad in his underwear trying to beat me to the toilet because he needs to take a dump JFC
ticklemefirecrotch: friends are like sex i have none
shoulderblades: JUST CALL ME DADDY
im watching The Prestige my feelings for this movie
listening to pokemon red/blue songs tearing up from the nostalgia
tr3cool: would you like some gif with that watermark
patient: C'mon Doc, give it to me straight...
doctor: Well, the tests have come back and...
patient: WHAT IS IT DOC TELL ME GODDAMN IT!
doctor: You're down with the sickness
galvatron: Never buy hamsters from Petsmart because you will think you are getting two boys when you are actually getting a boy and a girl. And eventually the girl will get pregnant. And you will think she is dying. But she won’t die, and one day you’ll wake up to little baby hamsters all over your cage. And one day you’ll come home from middle school and find her eating all of her babies and...
my thoughts during school: lol penis lol
my thoughts when im trying to go the fuck to sleep: the purpose of life is not to be happy . it is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well
maddypotato: Skyrim sounds like some sort of sexual act performed in an airplane bathroom
religiousbitch: why go on a diet when you can eat
dyking: death note is literally the greatest i love it so much ugh